Hot Wheels and beer pairings? I guess. It's happening. So dive on in!

This was my wife's idea. If you follow me on social media, you know I'm now fully obsessed with hunting for Hot Wheels.

Have you ever excitedly texted your wife something like, “Honey, you won’t believe what I found?! I found the Street Wiener.”

If you haven’t, this might not be the newsletter for you. But if you have (or if you just wanna go on a weird ride), you should definitely read these next few hundred words.

The Street Wiener btw is one of the more batshit nuts Hot Wheels models. It’s a hot dog on wheels. It’s not like the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, because it sits on a race car chassis and the rear spoiler is a grill (the kind you’d cook a hot dog on).

Welcome to the wonderful world of Hot Wheels! (And here’s where it’s gonna go down an unexpected path.)

Kinda like I did with my Bruce Springsteen list, I really just wanted an excuse to share some pictures and musings from my latest obsession — Hot Wheels cars.

But like I’ve done in the past (and because it’s the smart, right thing to do), I’m gonna listen to my wife. This one was actually Cass’s idea — a list of my favorite cars paired with some beers. For two reasons really: 1. Why the heck not? 2. This is my newsletter and those of you who have subscribed to it have encouraged me to let my freak flag fly. With your support, I can get as weird as I want.

So really, this is probably only the second weirdest thing I’ve written for the newsletter. Shout out to the Boss/beer pairings. The next two oddest articles I’ve ever written are unquestionably the Wegmans and Polar seltzer rankings I did back in my D&C days.

Hot Wheels hunting has become a new obsession. Here’s how it typically goes: I go to a store and purchase a ton of Hot Wheels. (I’ve got a pretty good mental tally of which ones we have.) And then I give them to Audie. We’re both spoiled. I love the hunt and he loves opening/playing with them. We both win.

Here are a few of my favorites, and because this is a beer publication, the beers I’d pair these cars. (Yes, I know it’s a stretch, but I needed an outlet to share all of this and you’re kindly gonna read it.)

GT-Scorcher

In the Cleveland household, we’ve been obsessively watching (and then re-watching) Netflix’s recent Hot Wheels: Let’s Race animated program. So if I’m able to find a car featured on the show, I score extra points. The GT-Scorcher is one of the main cars on the show. It’s Audie’s favorite. I also buy it every time I see it. Because Audie so thoroughly played with the first one I gave him, I like having them in reserve. I think I’ve bought seven GTs so far. Plus, how sharp is that black and purple paint scheme?

The beer: Frequentem Black Lager. This car feels like a blue collar one, so I think the beer should reflect that. But it’s also a bit elevated and souped up.

Bone Shaker

The Bone Shaker is an iconic Hot Wheels model and one of the main models in the second episode of the Netflix show. It looks like it would be loud and tough. I think it would be fun to drive this one IRL. We have the Bone Shaker in three different color patterns, too. Audie loves this one.

The beer: Three Heads Freak Cafe coffee brown ale. I feel like you would need something dark to accompany the Bone Shaker. And this beer uses locally roasted Fuego Coffee. So not only would the car be loud, but the coffee would also serve as a wake-up call.

Gotta Go

The Gotta Go, along with many of the best Hot Wheels models, is absurd and fun. According to the Hot Wheels wiki, it’s designed to look like a “1920s dump truck (no pun intended).” I lol’d way too hard at that quality dad joke. The toilet seat on this version of the Gotta Go also goes up and down. It just makes me smile. A lot of the design elements of this one are toilet-themed, including a grille that resembles a urinal. Kudos to the designer for this one.

The beer: Something from Mortalis Brewing’s new DemiHydra series — fruited sours that are seltzer based, a bit lighter in body, and gluten free. We really enjoyed the recent one designed to drink like an Uncrustables sandwich. (I’m hoping to explore this innovation in a future newsletter.) Cass said this one would have to be paired with a froot smoothie. (I’ll let you read into that what you will, but I appreciate the humor in her suggestion.)

Tee’d Off

I mean, c’mon, it’s a rad golf cart that can also serve as a golf tee. (I’m not joking there.) I’m a dad, of course, I love this one. Audie loves golf. (We’ve got two of those plastic golf sets that he smashes around the garage after I ask him if he wants to “hit some dingers.” I chuckle way too much when I ask my kid about “dingers.”)

The beer: This one wouldn’t be paired with a beer at all. I feel like you’d need a suitable golf course beverage here. That’s why I’m grabbing a hard seltzer or one of those Genny-produced Lipton Hard Ice Teas.

Roller Toaster

Like the Gotta Go or the Tee’d Off, we don’t need to overthink this one. We don’t need to belabor the point. It’s a toaster on wheels. And when the rear wing is pushed down, the toast follows. It’s fun. Again, it’s absurd. Audie loves this one. I’ve only seen it in the wild once (hence the dinged-up packaging).

The beer: An Iron Tug fruited sour. Something you might consume for breakfast would be the best option here. I love what brewer Zach Allard does with the fruited sours at ITB. They’re always fun and vibrant. Plus, you could probably mimosa some of them.

Road Bandit

I hope you’re sensing a theme here. We like bright, colorful, creative Hot Wheels cars in the Cleveland household. So you know we’re gonna love the multi-colored Road Bandit bus. Like most of the cars on this list, I can envision riding (or even driving) in this one. I like how it’s a bit different than some of the other Hot Wheels models. And surprisingly, this one also flies super well off the ramp.

The beer: Labatt Blue Light. I can imagine this would be a sweet ride to take to tailgating before a Buffalo Bills game. It would look even better in Bills colors.

Baja (Jump) Truck

This is another car that features frequently on the cartoon. Beyond the bright models, I also love the Hot Wheels Mud Studs series. Those are the cars that have painted dirt or mud all over their undercarriages. (For the record, Cass loves the HW art car series best.) Audie and I just love this one because it looks like it would be fun to ride in. It also flies exceedingly well off Audie’s mega-ramp.

The beer: Smuttynose Durty Mud Season. Getting back to mud, I would love to pair this one with a long-retired beer from Smuttynose. I loved the brewery’s hoppy imperial American brown ale called Durty. I would love to see that one return.

Street Wiener

This is the one I crushed on in the lede. The Street Wiener never ceases to make me chuckle. I mean, it’s called the “street wiener” and it’s a hot dog on wheels with a grill as its grille.

The beer: Rohrbach Red Wing Red Ale. The car screams summer to me. Red Wing Red Ale is the official beer of baseball season and also summer. Plus, it’s a great hot dog beer.

A final note: It’s pretty wild to think I’ve been working on this independent publication for over two years now. In that time, I’ve published nearly 200 newsletters, highlighted some of my favorite people in the industry, curated two beers festivals (that featured 150 participants and 4,600 attendees), and continued to break all the biggest news in the region (closures, consolidations, openings, etc.).

The Cleveland Prost remains the preeminent source for regional beer news. If you own a brewery, bar, or beer-adjacent business, this is the best place to reach the nerds you wanna be in front of. So I remain open to sponsorships, advertisements, and sponsored content. Feel free to reach out to me at clevelandprost@gmail.com for more. And more than anything, thanks for all the support. None of this would be possible without the devoted (and thirsty) audience.